Comment gérer le stress d'être un nouveau parent

Quels sont les défis d'être un nouveau parent ?

There are many challenges associated with caring for a nouveau-né bébé. Ils peuvent souvent sembler intimidants, mais il existe des moyens de réduire le stress.

"The common frustrations for new parents are probably things that are the most obvious," says Dr Zoe Williams, a GP and TV presenter. "There are sleepless nights, trying to soothe a crying bébé, ne jamais rien accomplir et lavage sans fin - la machine à laver ne s'arrête jamais.

"There are additional challenges and a lot of those come from being overlaid on top of each other. For a lot of people, having a bébé really is the most difficult time of their lives."

Pression pour être un parent parfait

For many new parents, there can be pressure to be the perfect parent. A survey by Stokke, found 71% of mums admit to feeling guilty for not doing - or not being able to do - something advised by parenting experts, compared to 57% of dads. A further 81% of women said they felt guilty over their choix parentaux choices, too.

However, it's unrealistic to expect to know exactly what you're doing - especially for first-time parents. It’s normal to feel dépassé and it is a matter of trial and error to find out what works best for you.

"You’re sommeil-deprived, your body is trying to heal and you're trying to master new things too," says Dr Williams. "If you choose to allaiter, you're trying to grasp that skill. There is still this idea that the bébé knows what to do, and the mum knows what to do, but it’s not true," she adds.

"C'est une compétence acquise et cela peut être difficile et douloureux. Chacune de ces choses est difficile, mais lorsque vous les superposez, c'est là que réside le défi."

Pression des réseaux sociaux

What we see on Instagram, Facebook and other social media sites can also lead to unnecessary pressure, too. More often than not, we only see a carefully curated version of someone's life on les réseaux sociaux - which is filled with images of happy, smiling new parents who don't seem to be avoir des difficultés. Cependant, la réalité est probablement très différente.

"We know it is a highlights reel," says Williams. "I guarantee every single new parent will have good days and bad days. There are days where you think I'm killing it - I have this nailed. But the next day, you might be in floods of tears because everything has fallen apart. On Instagram, chaque jour ressemble à une bonne journée."

Élever des enfants à huis clos

The privacy of our lives can also impact how we find becoming new parents too. "I think there is that misinterpretation that because we've been having babies since the start of time, we have this innate knowledge that we know what to do, but we don't," says Williams.

Pour les générations plus anciennes, il était plus courant de vivre dans de grandes maisons partagées, où les gens apprenaient à s'occuper des enfants en observant les membres de la famille le faire. C'est encore le cas dans certaines régions du monde.

"We now all live in our own houses and everything happens behind closed doors, so we don't necessarily learn all these skills because we don't see them," explains Williams. "When there was more communal living, you grew up witnessing how to parent. This meant watching babies being allaités and seeing how parents look after them. But because we don't live together like that as much, we don't learn this and it can be difficult."

Comment gérer le stress d'être un nouveau parent

There is no one right way to look after a new baby, as we are all individuals with different needs. However, there are various ways you can help to reduce the niveaux de stress of new parenthood.

Préparez-vous autant que possible

Being pregnant can be épuisant and it's normal to feel lacking in de l'énergie. However, it can help to prepare for the new baby's arrival on the days when you feel more energetic. This might mean putting together furniture, looking up local parent and bébé groups, or stocking up on pre-prepared food.

"Try to do your research while enceinte, before you have your baby," says Williams. "It is difficult to do things when you are privé de sommeil. Sign up to support groups and put them in your diary, learn how to use gadgets like tire-lait, sièges auto, et poussettes, et essayez de faire un essai pratique."

Demandez de l'aide

Selon recherche, 71% des nouveaux parents hésitent à demander de l'aide au cours des premières semaines suivant l'arrivée de leur nouveau-né à la maison. Environ un quart des personnes interrogées ont déclaré qu'elles craignaient d'être étiquetées comme de mauvais parents et 40% ne voulaient pas que les autres pensent qu'elles ne peuvent pas faire face si elles demandaient de l'aide.

"Nous vivons dans une société où nous voulons donner l'impression que tout va bien, mais obtenir de l'aide et des conseils de personnes en qui vous avez confiance est essentiel. Avec le recul, j'aurais aimé demander plus d'aide lorsque j'étais un nouveau parent," dit Williams.

"It's important to tap into your own personal network. Have honest conversations with your parent friends so they can talk to you about what they found difficult and engage with those who are close to us."

Rejoignez des groupes de soutien pour les nouveaux parents

Mother and baby groups are great places to meet other new parents. Soutien par les pairs can be invaluable for your bien-être mental and being able to talk to others who are going through a similar experience can make things feel less overwhelming.

"Getting out of the house and going along to groups can be helpful, if you like that type of thing. It depends on the person, but anything that gives you a good réseau de soutien is a sound idea," says Williams.

Although there are groups you pay to join, such as NCT, there may be free local ones too. It's worth checking on any local les réseaux sociaux pages or community centres for events.

Parlez aux personnes en qui vous avez confiance

New motherhood comes with many joys and challenges. La solitude is common for new parents who have just given birth, especially for first-time mothers. Any big life change is known to cause feelings of isolation and l'anxiété, particulièrement lorsque vous vous adaptez à un nouveau mode de vie.

Il est essentiel de parler à des amis et à la famille de confiance de ce que vous ressentez, surtout si vous avez du mal à faire face. "Si vous avez un partenaire et qu'il retourne au travail après les premières semaines, vous pouvez vous sentir isolé et seul," dit Williams.

There are app's which give women access to social networks to connect with other women as they navigate challenges like la fertilité, motherhood and the ménopause. Certaines applications peuvent faciliter la rencontre, la discussion et l'apprentissage avec des personnes partageant les mêmes idées.

Si vous avez des difficultés avec votre santé mentale après l'accouchement, il est important de parler à votre médecin pour obtenir des conseils sur les traitements et le soutien.